Weird Matatu Behaviours by passengers!

I got this definition from wikipedia : ''A share taxi is a mode of transport that falls between taxis and conventional buses. These informal vehicles for hire are found throughout the world. They are smaller than buses, and usually take passengers on a fixed or semi-fixed route without timetables, usually leaving when all seats are filled. Most stop anywhere to pick up or drop off passengers.'' Otherwise know as ''Matatu''

These vehicles carry all sorts of passangers, thugs, robbers, priests, terrorists, doctors nurses, touts, drivers, you, me and others you can think of....oh yeah and chicken (live) to the extreme goats and sheep. But the most interesting lot are the real passengers.

• They curse when the ''mathree'' stops anywhere to pick passengers when they are inside
• They celebrate when the ''mathree'' stops to pick them in the middle of the road (highway i mean)
• They curse the crew when an accident happens yet they also contribute to crews actions and operations
  
• They complain when the matatu carries excess passangers, they celebrate when they get someone to squeeze in for them to fit

Excess passangers;

This morning i left house for the bus stop, and as usual i always scavenge to capture the front seat as this invites little disturbances. You are at peace. But today i found only one matatu available and the front seats were already occupied, and since i was getting late i settled for the back middle seat. My entry meant that the mathree was full as per the "michuki regulations". A moment later the crew went like ''songea hapo nyuma'' and the next passenger charges towards the back. Thank God my immediate neighbours complained and i joined...the passenger just got off; but guess what there was another one just waiting at the door. She got in and started squeezing; i made sure there was no space for her by opening my legs wide. so she sat in the empty air space infront of me (in between two well built mamas who cared less about her struggles to find space) she sat as if there was a thorn in her behinds. Long story short the conductors seat was occupied by 3 people yes THREE GROWN UPS!

Music:

Almost all matatus play music and it is a tool of inviting passengers. Those that cover short distances e.g. Town-Westlands via Graffins college - play ''mixed music collections''. The rest of the routes are tuned into some crazy radio stations. e.g. in the mornings almost all of them tune to classic 105.2 (Maina and King'ang'i in the morning - weird marriage, relationships and sex stories) In the evening they all switch to the new kid on the block Ghetto Radio 89.5 (where there's Mbusi and Bonoko-de where they play some reggae hits and their swaggerific tag ''hakuna mrrrrrrrrrrrrrrricha yeyote''. Come sunday they all tune to Milele fm 93.6 for a whole day of gospel hits. But sometimes when you get in and find bonoko-de and mbusi with their reggae hits you just pray you are not seated next to a reggae fan and from the ghetto. the chap would swing his head back and foth oblivious of their surroundings. I remember some time back i got into one from mlolongo to town and happened to be sandwiched between two high school kids. meeeeeen the boys were busy swinging their heads and am like am in the wrong place?

Weird of them all are those guys who get into a mathree - which is playing really loud music; and they unleash their tumulika mwizi's tune into some music and put on the earphones ---honestly what are you listening to?

Shukisha Hapo:

Then there is this group of people who think vehicles are like human beings that they can stop when they think like doing so like Pap!. The driver needs time to think and calculate how to drive the moving house to a halt (otherwise you will crash - and you will start cursing him). These are the guys who wait until the mathree gets to the exact bus stop and they go like ''shukisha hapo'', this is where the conductor brings out their true colours ''wapi mama, sinimeuliza kama kuna mtu anashuka...nkt...dere shukisha hapo mbele''. you are lucky if there is a nearby bus stop ahead, otherwise you will enjoy an extra ride at no extra cost with pain in your face (anyway good for you).

Well, even as am writing this I have done this things at any one point except the last one. But now am reformed. last weekend i boarded a full matatu and the lashing i got inside from some serious mamas left me speechless --i looked more learned but the guys unleashing the wrath did not want to know.....it was a horrible 20 minutes of punishment. (but i had to board this one because i had waited for one for almost an hour and i was getting late).

I can write all the stuff that happens...but let me pause here and do some work...i will board another one during the day and some day i will write to you the reminder of the experiences.

Have a fruitful day and use the matatu responsibily.