Dating the Shagz Style!!

Happy belated easter to you all.
Well I don't know how you spent yours but as for me I went upcountry and spent my good time with family and old man -- grandpa. Kusota nayo!! (am broke i.e...am sure you too are and probably may be not...anyway who cares). My lows were when I put Pilau masala in tea in stead of putting Ginger...SMH! So while I was there something interesting hit my mind which made me think outside the paper bag. Very few couples in shagz go through divorce. A closer look at the city counter parts......fill in the dots and continue reading..okay! Well am not here to write to you about divorce...am not a divorcee neither am I a divorcer (do such words exist?)

I thought of sharing with my friends who have never stepped in shagz neither have they engaged in dating the shagmodoz way, how dating was in 'our days'. This is an experience that is never experienced in the urban setup. The urban chaps have been helped by the advancement of the technological dating platforms e.g. PENDO 123, MANZIPAP, UKO-SINGLE? Well this is what is called M-dating. I will tell you more about it in a bit. But if you were raised in shagz am sure what am about to share strikes some flashback and you will have a smiley face (hmmn i miss those days). One thing one had to do is to identify the catch and rest your case, what followed was a homework affairs on how to arrive at the target and walk away with it. My friends it wasn't easy.

Harsh Dad!! Al Shabaab
Truth be told dads nowadays are not as harsh as compared to our dads then in shagz eisssh! I recall one time a buddy of mine had identified a certain cute girl. His dad was very harsh so the only time you would see this girl is when she was coming home for mid-term or when sent away from school due to fee arrears or when You get to know that there is a sports day and their school is participating. Cool, so the guy approached the girl and she 'entered the box' but she told him ''my dad is very harsh he will kill me''. To the dude that was never an issue ''No problem I will take care of the coffin''. There were no mobile phones then, so the only time you would fix a date is by physically showing up at the girls place. This girl's place had very harsh dogs and the compound was very thickly fenced. Since this guy wanted to see her we engineered a scheme. We saw someones cow tethered outside their compound, so we loosened it and started chasing it in the direction of the girls compound. We made sure the cow entered her compound and as the guy holding the cow was busy talking to the dad to confirm whether the cow was his, the 'Son In-law' was busy fixing the date on the side of the kitchen. It required utmost 5 minutes to get the job done.

Harsh Dad Selling Eggs!!
The same experience was faced here. The only way this girl would be seen is by using the most available opportunity. There was this dad who used to sell eggs, and the advantage was you had to walk into his compound to buy them. Again a friend of ours wanted the jewel from the palace. The only way to see this girl and fix a date was by walking in and buying eggs. The trick was to walk in two's or threes so that as one guy is busy checking the prices and sorting the eggs the other guys are sending signals. We would speak at high voices so that the girl knows we are around, most of the time the girl was the one selling you the eggs. After accomplishing the mission we would walk out with 2 or 3 eggs with us and wonder what to do with them. Because if you went with them at home chances are you would receive a thorough beating of being a thief.

Writing a message on leaves!!
I was aged 10 years when some guy pulled me aside and asked whether my auntie was around. I said yes and the guy asked ''is your grandpa around?'' of course the guy knew my grandpa was a ninja ''you don't joke around with his daughters''. So this guy picked some wide leaves from the nearby bush and gave them to me with some scribbled words. He then told me to take it to my auntie in the name of ''that leaf the agriculture teacher said we stick in our group work assignment'' He was so mistaken, I knew how to read English when I was 9yrs and he wanted my auntie to sneak out of the compound for just 10 minutes. I did pick the leaf and gave it to her and she 'finyad' her eyes (finyad is a Greek word for winked). That was a sign DO NOT TELL ANYONE! This was a good season for me, I would receive goodies like sweets, coins etc. I was a minor dating agency so to say!

Special whistle!!
After meeting a gal there are things that you needed to let her know. Signs, sounds and the likes. Every time such signals were sent out the girl would know the suitor is around and that it was time to sneak out. Whistling was the most common signal and you had to be creative so that the people around don't decipher what you are doing. There is a way you would whistle and she would know there is a message under the fence, another whistle am going down be back in 5 minutes or another one to say am behind the church.

Another trick we would use is to time when someone is going into the compound, we would inquire on what they are going to do and offer to do it on their behalf. My friend there are times these things used to backfire and you would have your legs acquire a Ferrari engine otherwise.....I recall there was a time we walked into the compound and the dogs were freely walking in the compound, they spotted us and some guys returned home with knee injuries, torn shorts and bruises all over. We made sure that we got home at the time when the chicken were also returning home after a days work to avoid people from noticing the agony we were in. At times as we were waiting cautiously on the fences and around the gate we would be ambushed by a stone throwing dad, we would run and forget our bicycle then have another bigger problem of getting back our bike.

Approaching a lady required some elephant confidence not like today you just smile and say hi or just offer a hug. Hugs were never heard of during those days, it would take you persistence, perseverance humility and months of desperation to finally make the lady 'enter the box'. Some of them would even go as far as slapping you in your face. Technology has made it very easier to do these things today. A date is just a tweet away we call it ''tweetup'', or just send a message on facebook ''we need to talk'' or just send some coded text messages to her parents phone (i.e. if she doesn't own one). It has become very easier, you meet a friend and the second or third thing you discuss after saying hi is ''are you on twitter or facebook''. It then starts from there...stalking first then engaging the gears thereafter.

Honestly I rarely see dudes get the courage to face chics and ask them out, it has to be via text or social media. Pick-up lines died, we just joke about them on social media. We are very creative in our minds but we lack practical confidence to execute them. That's why we need to be visiting shagz more often hehe! This is the reason why we end up with wrong partners. Players were very rare in shagz...you get one and stick with her...the moment you are caught with another fruit...that fruit will either shower in hot water or you will have yourself defaced. That was a habit that was carried into marriage until recently when TV became available to everyone.

let me pause here....I will continue these story in a separate post and tell you now how we used to approach the girls (I will never forget my first crush while I was in form II ..story for another day). Am headed out for lunch...hopefully I wont mention facebook to whoever am going to meet now...I will tell you how it goes soon....when the story continues.. Nimeeenda ...just like that! Ernie.