Young Man's cubicle - ''Esimba''

Is this love is this love is this love that am feeling .... oh yes oh yes oh yes i know now.....I wanna love you....everyday and every night...with roof over our heads....we share the same shelter..... I know you know who sang that song. That's some lyrics by Bob Marley. And that is my story today. I didn't have that in mind but when I was about to write this post, my laptop was vibrating and making some tunes by Bob Marley; and ayieya those words related to what I wanted to share.

Every young man in every society has dreams and one of them is to have some privacy or is it shelter. (if you dont have such dreams then your gender and medulla oblangata must be suffering from abnormal oblagendiosis -- dont google this. It simply means you are not normal, at least according to me). You need your privacy for several reasons. To mend your torn underwear/boxer depending on what is fit in accommodating your manly utilities. You also need your privacy to usefully appreciate your 'barber'-ic skills (you need to shave right?). Most importantly it is so obvious that man shall not live alone. In the book of Genesis 2:¹⁸ The Lord God said, “It is not good for the man to be alone. I will make a helper suitable for him.” And so God put them in the garden of Eden where they lived happily until the serpent felt jealous (you can read the rest of the story in chapter 2 of the same book). So in the same way God has created very beautiful women for each and every man out there (if you are single and ugly this statement should be your motivation). 


When you meet that which God has set aside for you in the name of Eve please don't go and stay with her in the forest of Eden; there is no such forest in Kenya. Go build your own Eden(home). Why am I saying all this? My grandpa loves me very much and he always wants the best for me. Every time i go bunduz he would tell me this; when he goes to heaven I should by then be stable in my house and have someones daughter in that house. Well I picked something from my uncles. Before they brought their Eve's they had their Edens ready. So all along I've always told Kuka that I will build a hut first. Yes I went home last week and my house is up and standing (we slaughtered chicken for the fundi who put the roofing, we call it ''Essuli''). My friends that structure really energized my grandpa and all he is now singing is I quickly get ''omwana wa mundu'' - Eve. If you are Eve and you are reading this post please get in touch with me I need to introduce you to my grandpa.


But let me tell you something about how life can sometimes be interesting in bunduz when you dont have 'esimba'. In my previous posts I've told you how we used to go out and hunt for our 'stolen ribs'- girlfriends. Most of us didnt have huts to hide our privacy. So when it came to matters to do with consultations with Eve, one had to talk to another Adam who had an Eden. This is where drama would ensure. I remember one time a friend of mine 'Oluoch' managed to fish an Eve and he had to use Eden for consultation but he had none. So he had to get into a gentleman's agreement with a buddy. Deal went through and so Oluoch left to go pick Eve and bring her to Eden. All went ok until that point when Oluoch showed her the Eden. She never moved beyond this point, and immediately refused to talk. Oluoch had a very hard time trying to find out what it was that changed things that fast. Little did he know that the owner of the Eden had sometime back brought the same Eve to the same place. My friend that was one experience you do not want to go through as a young man.


Long story short, the guy never consulted with Eve. He had tried to use an alternative Eden but at this point Eve had already lost confidence in Oluoch. If only Oluoch had an Eden of his own this wouldnt have happened. May be some of you would ask 'why not get a room in a hotel'. Yes thats an idea, but let me tell you something about bunduz mentality ''rooms are for those girls who look for men at night'' -- I dont want to use the general term used to refer to them here.


So it is good for us to have that secret place that you can call your own. You need freedom to do some secret stuff and hence the need to have your independence. See, you may want to bang some music and dance in boxers. You cant do such things in your fathers house unless you are 6 years old and below. Singing in the bathroom yes is okay but when you are in your own bathroom you can shout all you want. Oh wait....hehe...you need privacy when you want a place to put your internal storage apartments to dry after washing them. 


Some of you are subscribers to that human fuel that makes you lose your balance and have your speech corrupted. Sometimes while walking you jump up to avoid a ditch where there's none. When you are dragging yourself home with some brown take away bottles you just need to keep them in your room, not in your moms kitchen.


Enough.....sindio...ama niendelee.


Now this is for Sunguti> I wrote some facts about Rongai in a previous post which you felt deserved a court order to be issued against me. Well my lawyers have looked at the post and your comments and they found no serious allegation. And that no serious damage was caused by that post going live. But since you are a good friend of mine who is trying to learn how to enjoy life in 'diaspora' I sincerely apologize for not detecting in advance that you are still undergoing Urban 'diaspora' migration. I will therefore not talk about Rongai again in any of my posts until that point when am convinced that you are a certified settler. The other day Jakom had to come to the rescue of many Rongaians; not sure if you were affected then, but the matatus had decided not offer direct 'express' services to Rongai due to harassment by Kanjo and the chelsea boys in blue. 


But is it true that Ksh. 500 is a return ticket to Rongai from Nairobi Kenya?


Enjoy your weekend people, don't peel the wrong Mask otherwise utajikunakuna.


....and it is him again!